dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
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