I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
