I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize