Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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