I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I intend to get homeless drunk
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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