When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
