I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
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