party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
