i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
When are your genitals available?
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
