I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Randomize
