and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
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