Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
