so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Randomize
