In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
