Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize