I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
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