Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
