Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
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