So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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