But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
