he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
