So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
