It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
