I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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