Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize