We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Randomize
