it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Semen is not good for contacts.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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