You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
