batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
