I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Randomize
