Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Randomize
