Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
