Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
