are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
