If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
