Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
