porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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