I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
operation harelip BJ is a go
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Randomize
