so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
