This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
