To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
