We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
