He asked to "fluff my boner.."
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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