your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
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