Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize