paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
