Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
