i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
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