Did you just see the Batmobile???
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
