Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
