i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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