i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
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