Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
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