I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Randomize
