took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
