new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
How external is "for external use only"?
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
