you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
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