I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
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