i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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