yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
