Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
