once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Randomize
