maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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