I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
