If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Congratulations! We have a period
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
