I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Randomize
