I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
