lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
